I Digress...

This is going to make no sense. I'm going to babble and probably bob and weave all over the place here. But seeing as this is more of a journal for me than a widely read publication, I'm going to go ahead and let it...flow...

So, I sometimes wonder if it looks like I don't try. Or maybe that I'm a total mess. Well, let's be honest, obviously I'm a total mess, but I do like to think that I try...

I am a very lucky woman. I have a miracle baby who makes my heart sing in tunes it never knew it knew. I have a husband who challenges me in all way--good, bad and ugly. I have a job that I really do enjoy. Truth be told, I hate working and I hate that it takes me away from Will, but I know that working isn't an option, so I'm lucky to enjoy the job that I have. I have a family that I am close to and who I know loves me. I have every basic need met-and I know that is so much more than many, many, many people have.

But where I'm really lucky, is the same place that makes me the most crazy. It's the part of my life that makes me most who I am. It's the part of my life that spreads me the most thin. It's the part of my life that brings me some of the most joy. It's the part of my life that keeps my calendar full, my inbox full, my mailbox full, my phone ringing, my mouth moving and my heart overflowing. Where I'm really lucky--is my friendships.

I have a number of "groups" of friends.

My most obvious "circle" is my DC girls. These girls are my completely solid rock. They are my go-to for everything. Love advice, parenting advice, job advice. I turn to them for fun times, and always when my heart is on hard times. They are my true angels, and I'd be lost without them.

My sister and my cousin (1 year younger and 1 year older respectively) are some of my best friends, and my "low maintenance" friendships. Proximity keeps our relationship so easy. I can say preeeeetty much anything to them, and I'm not afraid of unmendable repercussions. This, of course, is good and bad.

I've also been lucky to make such great work-friends. I have a small circle of girls, that are harder to keep in touch with, from each working-world stint I've left behind. The range of personalities and gifts is so huge, that it keeps me so wildly entertained.

My high school friends--a small group, but oh, some of the sweetest friendships.

My Facebook friends. Ahhh my Facebook friends. Holy cow, talk about keeping me busy. Or is addicted a better word.

My Friends-in-Law. This is what I call the ladies I've met through Jeff. While I haven't necessarily thought the most highly of Jeff guy-friends--they get Jeff into a bit too much trouble for my taste--they managed to bring some awesome chicks to the table. I've really enjoyed growing up and moving through life stages with these women.

My "mommy" friends. I've been so lucky to meet these new mommy friends at Gymboree and through my other mommy friends. It is awesome to have people to do fun things with, with Will and their little ones. I love exposing Will to all his own different circles of playmates. I also love having a group of women that I can gush incessantly about nuks, tantrums, first words, best playgrounds, blah, blah, blah--it never ends.

The point of all this rambling is that because my life is so full of love and friendship--it sometimes may look like it's lacking in other areas. Sometimes, I have a sink full of dishes because I'm chatting on Facebook. Sometimes grocery shopping gets done at the last minute because I spent my Saturday afternoon at the Zoo with some mommy-friends. Sometimes my laundry isn't done because I met some work-girls for drinks. Sometimes Jeff make a frozen pizza for dinner because Will and I are hanging with the DC girls.

Could I have a cleaner house, more organized bills, folded laundry and baked goods on the counter? Yes. Would I rather have a calendar full of memories and more photos than I'd ever be able to find the time to scrapbook--that's a hell yes.

My life may not be neat and tidy--and sometimes I'm hard to get a hold of--but I love it, and I wouldn't change a thing.

(Short) March for Babies

Today was our March of Dimes fundraising Walk, the March for Babies. I formed our team, Will's Wobbly Walkers very last minute, just over a month ago. Because I was a little late in the game, I initially set our sights low--I set our team goal at just $500 and thought there was no way we'd reach it. I hadn't even mentioned the walk to anyone prior to signing up! But in just 5 weeks we'd recruited 23 walkers and raised more than $1500!!! I couldn't believe it. I also managed to get t-shirts made for our grownups and designed some pretty spiffy special shirts for our Preemie honorees (we had THREE preemies on the team!) and for their full-term peeps. Surprisingly, I didn't even lose too much sleep over it! Things were going all too smoothly!!....

I should have known. The BIG DAY arrived, I had everything organized, we were on time (early, really) everyone had their shirts on, the babies were cute and happy, we even managed to get a GREAT team photo. The emcee started the Walk with a countdown...3...2...1...and we were off....

Within 50 feet...the skies opened up. The temperature dropped a noticeable 20 degrees, the wind howled and most of the 1000+ walkers made a brisk right turn into the parking structure just past the start line. We holed up in the chilly garage for 20 minutes or so, scrambling to put our big group back together and decide what to do. With no clear skies in sight, we decided to call it a wash and celebrate early with a nice, warm, DRY lunch at Chili's! I was disappointed, but was just happy to have my team together and raise a glass to our fundraising success!!!

I already have the wheels turning for next year.....

Rollin' With My Homies

Havin' a party with our DC pals and all their tots. It took about 25 pictures to get a couple that were keepers!

This is the first time we've all been together since the kids were born, and we were so excited! Geography has kept our playdates difficult, so we couldn't let this photo op pass us by.

We decided to do the picture in birth order. Pictured above are:
Carter-20 months, Will-17 months, Jackson-10 months, Brody-7 months, and Chase-5 months

(Learning To) Love the Nightlife....

As my days of motherhood thrust me further into a pit of disorganization and chaos, and I find myself asking other moms (especially those of toddlers) how they get anything done, I'm learning to finally LISTEN to their answer: "I do it all after I put the baby (or babies) to bed".

After months and months of sleep deprivation, Jeff and I were thrilled to be back to our days of hitting the sack in the 8 o'clock hour and snoozing right on through till dawn. (this was briefly interrupted by the month or two of night-waking, but that, knock on wood, has passed). We are both more morning-people and are not at our best in the late evening. Long before Will came along we were off to bed falling asleep to the 9:00 Frasier episode, and oh, how we were happy to return to this routine.

This was all fine-and-dandy back when I had the hours after work and allll weekend long to do my laundry and scrub the floors without having to stop every 10 minutes to redirect a danger-seeking toddler.

They told me how to do it--how to get it all done. To stay up late after our sweet babies drift to dreamland--but I just couldn't do it. I was exhausted. And I wouldn't trade my after-work playtime for chores. So it just piled up, and up, and up.

After the millionth fight with Jeff about getting ANYthing done around the house, I've finally succumbed to the inevitable--I have to stay up past my bedtime to get a few things accomplished. At first, I didn't know how to handle it. I was like a preschooler who got to stay up late eating candy and went into the realm of "overtired" and I couldn't fall asleep when I was done with my tasks. So I'd jump on the Internet to "relax" and lo and behold, 2 hours later, there I was, wide-eyed glued to Facebook.

But I think I'm starting to get a handle on the nightlife. Since putting Will to bed tonight, I was able to wash, fold & put away 2 loads of laundry, do the dishes, clean the kitchen, get the coffee ready for the morning, write a love-note to the hubby (lucky man-right?), pick up toys, start packing for my weekend away, paint my toenails and fingernails--and tell you lovely people all about it! :) And I think I'm ready to hit the hay at the reasonable-for-grownups hour of 11:15 pm.

Now, how to get that Daddy-o to join me in the magical land of productivity.....

Walk the Line. No really, get up and WALK IT!

We have been now working with Physical Therapy for over a month. We have chosen to go with the Birth-3 PT for a few reasons. One, is that it's the most cost effective. I feel horribly guilty for even admitting that. I know when it comes to the health and well-being of your child, money should never be an object, but realistically, because he's needs run on the less-severe side, I thought we should start here. Another reason is that our PT comes to our house. Not only is this overwhelmingly convenient, it's also very helpful for Will. He doesn't cry at all for Lee, and he was giving Jessica (our first PT at the hospital) the riot act every week. It's also helpful because she can look around our house and show us how to use the toys and furniture that we actually own in ways that are helpful for him. She can show me how to weigh down his push toys so that he has to use his legs more, and to put a stool in front of his Fridge Phonics magnets so that he can practice sitting-to-standing.

There are a number of issues that Will's working through, but both PT's are very impressed with how he really does work through them-they both say that the physical issues that he has don't seem to hold him back, but that the therapy should help strengthen him and expedite the next-pardon the pun-STEPS.

The first of his issues is that his Achilles tendons kind of curve inward--kind of in a bowed shape. This causes him to try and find balance on the outside of his food. He also has weak hip muscles, a common side effect of the "splayed open" look that preemies have during those first days. He also has very tight hamstrings so he has trouble straightening his leg and placing his heel down to the floor.

So they have us doing a number of exercises including stretching, reaching, practicing sitting-to-standing, pulling up to stand using one leg at a time (he generally just uses his arms and core and kind of drags his legs behind him) and strengthening his hips and planting his heels using ankle weights.

She swears she's seeing improvement in him. She says he's using his legs more independently of each other, planting his foot better, and bending and squatting with more ease. Thank god for her expert eyes, because it isn't as obvious to me.

I will admit that hate every millisecond of physical therapy. I struggle with being patient. I hate being reminded that he does, indeed have issues that need to be corrected and that he isn't scarless from his preemie days. PT days remind me that Will is a child with special needs and my denial and refusal to see him as anything less that perfect, stunning and exceptional is not only not helping him, it could be hurting him. Will seems to really like Lee, he is happy and cooperative when she's here, and seems to be learning a lot. He's willing to learn and willing to do the work...just another of the million lessons this little miracle has taught me.

Babble Boy

Well, we've kind of exploded in the world of Baby Signs. Will is now signing for all kinds of things he knows and sees and WANTS! Our little repertoire of signage includes:

• More
• Eat
• Please (finally-some manners!)
• All Done
• COOKIE!
• Baby
• Bath
• Toothbrush
• Book
• Shhh!
• Good Night
• Love
• Kiss

He's also decided he'd like to make up signs. When I tell him I need to buckle him into something (carseat, stroller, highchair, whatever) he pounds his two fists together in front of his chest (I think this is from when the Little Einsteins buckle their seatbelts, seriously, I do). It's pretty funny.

But now he's also expanding his spoken vocabulary, which is a huge relief because my mother is SURE that the signs are going to impede his speech and he'll just sign what he wants forever. However, the words he says are so random, even our doctor thinks it's funny the words he's chosen for his first forms of communication. I swear his very first word was "Kitty" when he was really quite little, because he says it exactly the same way now as he did the first time he looked at our cat and said "KEEEY!" His second word, I kid you not, was "Fish" (but it sound more like "SISS!"). He's now added "Duck" and "Dog" (ducks, he names appropriately, dogs are not only dogs but camels, dinosaurs and lions).

He can also say, but rarely does anymore, "eyes", "eat", "wash" and "all done". He only says "mamamamama" when he's crying for me and has FINALLY, just this week looked right at Jeff and said "Dada". He was elated. :)

His new favorite, lucky me, is "no", but it actually sounds more like "Nah", and is accompanied by vigorous head shaking....and then sometimes tantrums....oh the good times of toddlerhood....yay.....

At any rate, we're communicating and I do love that. However, I'm not a fan that with communication comes disagreements, and having to constantly explain that I'm the boss, applesauce!